Author Topic: Why I left Athanor, and World of Warcraft  (Read 2285 times)

Streygo

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Why I left Athanor, and World of Warcraft
« on: March 13, 2013, 11:37:42 PM »
As I have been informed by your good friend and fearless leader Kuler, my leaving the raid and guild came across as nothing more than pathetic ragequitting.
In any other circumstances, I don’t care what people think of me. I have as far as I’m aware gave my upmost for everyone. Even people I don’t like. I’m not going to lie, there are people in this guild that I genuinely like and dislike. Those that I dislike will most likely be unaware of it. Personal feelings towards each other are as far as I’m concerned irrelevant when you are raiding together. Now however, I am annoyed by that same good friend and fearless leader, that I’ll have a go at it anyway.

A few people know that I stepped down as an officer after the first raid. Truth be told, even though we made progress, I was not at all happy about it. I put a lot of effort to get Athanor back on its feet, make the guild raid ready and make sure we step foot in raids again. I was not alone though. Kuler did a lot of the heavy lifting in terms of actual recruitment but I digress.
I expected more of the first raid. My personal expectations where unrealistic. LFR had a lot to do with it too. The easy encounters where a bad preparation for an actual normal raid.
All in all I felt let down. I already gave it some thought to take the officer tasks more lightly as I dumped a lot of time in them. After that raid I decided to step down as an officer all together. As I figured it, why bother? Hard work to get mediocre performance. It was clear that I got way too hardcore about it all. This is not something Athanor wants right now. I knew, if I stayed “in charge” that my personal drive for progress would end up ruining the game for both the players in it as myself. So I announced that to the officers.

The reactions to my decision where as I expected them to be. I played with these people for quite some time and met Incagnar and Thalyia a couple of times. They understood why I made that decision and encouraged me. Again, the way I figured it was simple. I don’t have any responsibility other then myself. I do what I’m required to, I don’t care about all the rest. I knew the MSV encounters, I studied them and I know what I was supposed to do there. I’m sure the majority of guilds would like this attitude. Know the encounter, know you class, don’t cause problems.

Unfortunately, this was not enough. Kuler didn’t like my new found attitude. In fact he disliked it so much, that I received more than enough whispers about it. Some were reasonable, others… not so much. It annoyed me, but then again, I’m not always the most pleasant guy to work with. So I let the snide comments he made fly.

On Sunday I set off to raid. Keeping to myself we ventured in MSV. I have to say I felt no pressure at all. My “I just heal stuff” approach proved to be quite effective to me. No stress, no being pissed off at every single detail that could possibly go wrong, no drama.

Or was there?
Yes, there was!

Those that where there might recall that I was silent that night. I didn’t say anything during the raids because there was nothing relevant to say.
I logged on, said hello, “healed stuff” and kept to myself. Brian and Kuler  went over the tactics, and they did a really good job. I had no reason whatsoever to give more input, as everything was already covered.
I got asked If I didn’t have anything to say, promptly replied no, as I actually didn’t have anything to say. I hoped I didn’t have to have  this conversation, but alas. Multiple comments were made. Few reasonable, others… yet again not so much. I tried to handle this situation from top to bottom as rationally as possible. It unfortunately didn’t yield the results I wanted.

Those snide comments (as you referred to as a joke Spencer) didn’t come across as a joke. At that point, I had enough. Right there and then I asked Tealdar to take my spot. I knew he was backup, and I knew he wanted in. I saw an opportunity to bail without endangering the raid, so I did.

I realize that this has to be very weird when all of the sudden someone leaves without an explanation. Some call it ragequitting. I for one don’t care how it is called. I made an informed decision. I know Kuler long enough to know… how annoying he can be at times. I knew he was not going to let go, so before I was actually going to rage, I logged off.

I think we all play games for the same reason. To have fun. People’s idea of fun can differ, but it all comes down to the same thing. What happened is not my idea of fun. I’m not exactly old, but I am older then the vast majority that plays this game. I really don’t need to take that kind of crap.
I believe I pulled more than my weight for Athanor over the last 4 years. But those events really made stop caring. It’s a shame. I once said: “The only thing that keeps me in WoW is the atmosphere of Athanor.” That atmosphere is gone for me. So I took my leave. I deleted all of my relevant characters and deleted my forum account. Everything that tied me to WoW has been removed from the equation.

Did I ragequit? Some would argue I did. To me, there is no rage In my actions, only indifference. The people I became friends with over the years are still my friends. As far as I am concerned, nothing changed. I just stopped playing a game I took too seriously.

I wish all of you the very best in whatever it is you pursue.

Dimetrius

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Re: Why I left Athanor, and World of Warcraft
« Reply #1 on: March 13, 2013, 11:54:20 PM »
I have no idea what's going on so I can't comment on the specifics, but...

This is a game. If it gets to you to the point were you get this frustrated, it's not a bad idea to step away. The people will always be there, and there is plenty of stuff to do out there :)

Urthai

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Re: Why I left Athanor, and World of Warcraft
« Reply #2 on: March 14, 2013, 12:01:02 AM »
Not sure how to respond to this.

Very sad to see you go and especially like this. Like Dimi already said, don't let in-game stuff get to you, in the end it's still a game and it's all about having fun with friends.

Don't be a stranger and when you feel the need to talk, you know where to find me.
Urthai - lvl 90 Space Laser Druid

Bodan

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Re: Why I left Athanor, and World of Warcraft
« Reply #3 on: March 14, 2013, 12:16:43 AM »
Streygo, Buddy.

I cant say we shared this long and big history.
I can say up till this point, every interaction with you has been a nice one.

Take a time out, calm down, get your mind off stuff.
Then after some days / week. Rethink it all.

I for one know first hand the troubles of leading (ingame or out)
Just take a breather, then come do some dungeons with me, i'll show you newbies how its done :P (just kidding, or am i ? :P)

Bo


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Kuler

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Re: Why I left Athanor, and World of Warcraft
« Reply #4 on: March 14, 2013, 12:32:15 AM »
I was waiting for something like this and I'm glad you did it. Your post looks to shift a lot of the blame on me but I don't think that's very fair so I'll try to explain best I can here.

Everything you did to bring Athanor back was never a waste of time, but as I said many times.. it was always going to be a casual affair and you will never receive the same kind of input, you, myself and some others put in from everybody. This is a huge hurdle you should of been able to handle, but clearly the strain of working to bring Athanor back and this was too much.

The comments I made regarding you stepping down as Officer and such were, in my opinion.. nothing but positive. I felt at the time that Athanor was Athanor with you at it's helm, leading raids etc and that it wouldn't be right any other way.

I came back to World of Warcraft for the same reason as you.. to raid with Athanor once again. And that is exactly what I've done, but I've stepped back from being overly elitist and caring so much about the effort players put in. Because I feel like I have finally realised that Athanor will never, ever be that kind of guild. And I've accepted this.

And yes, your new found attitude as you called it.. was in my opinion not you at all. And after knowing you for close to 4 years I didn't feel like letting that slide as it didn't seem like you were you anymore. And you know me as well as I know you.. I don't think neither of us let things like this slide without making some form of comment.

My comments in that Sunday raid were, entirely and in no way at all meant to be taken with any inch of offense. I made the joke regarding your DPS/Heal ratio because you were closing in on some of the actual DPS.. And as we did quite a few LFR/Random Heroics together where you beat a lot of DPS doing this.. I figured you would catch onto that joke. But you seem to have taken it the wrong way.

And any comment I made about your attitude in that raid was all related to you dropping your officer rank, and I was still unhappy about that. But again, it was not intended to cause any offense. I was merely expressing my opinion on it.

It's sad to see you do this Kenny, Athanor was and always would be your home. The fact that you feel I've played a large part in your leaving really upsets me because I always considered you a real friend. We had some great, great time together.. and if this is the end then so be it. It was good whilst it lasted, considering how much of a pain I was in the past.

Spencer.

Thalyia

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Re: Why I left Athanor, and World of Warcraft
« Reply #5 on: March 14, 2013, 12:44:11 AM »
I've never been in the same zone as you, Kenny. I could not imagine what you have gone through the last couple of weeks. Your decision came so suddenly. I never suspected a thing of your struggle with Spence. And even during the monday raid in which you left, I cannot remember any conflict in chat or Mumble. And I had none wodka that raid, I can clearly remember!  :P

If any of these comments were made in whispers, I would like to know what they were precisely. And I urge everyone that when they have issues/conflicts/fights with anyone in the guild, in Guildchat/whispers or Mumble, to keep this in the open and communicate this with everyone in the guild. Make a post on the forum if something or someone is bothering you. So we can discuss this instead of ignorning it or been unaware of it! We mostly communicate in text and in this form you never can read into the real emotions of someone. It can be missunderstood easily.

I know Spence can be a pain in the ass. But he can also be a good friend and great co-player.


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Scarto

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Re: Why I left Athanor, and World of Warcraft
« Reply #6 on: March 14, 2013, 01:42:06 AM »
The reason I came back was to play with my buddies of Athanor, who you are one of Kenny.

Like Jaap said dont be a stranger.

It is clear that the situation as it was made you unhappy and that is no way to play.

I hope to see you around and with this great realID system we can always team up.




Tealdar

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Re: Why I left Athanor, and World of Warcraft
« Reply #7 on: March 14, 2013, 02:33:12 AM »

If any of these comments were made in whispers, I would like to know what they were precisely. And I urge everyone that when they have issues/conflicts/fights with anyone in the guild, in Guildchat/whispers or Mumble, to keep this in the open and communicate this with everyone in the guild. Make a post on the forum if something or someone is bothering you. So we can discuss this instead of ignoring it or been unaware of it! We mostly communicate in text and in this form you never can read into the real emotions of someone. It can be misunderstood easily.

agree with this: things need to be open, bottleing up stuff leads to explosive relaces ( which i beleve this is one example of)

But I also feel we need to learn from this ... I understand part of kennys frustrations is peoples attitude to raiding.. his attitude was that you arrived at the raid with your gear  optimal for your class, flasks  and knowledgeable of tactics  to be able to  peform your role to the best of your ability and it irked him seeing  people turn up without flasks and/or  enchants/ gems and/ or with little knowledge  of the fights requiring  many minutes of pre pull explanation. i have to admit i understand where he comes from on this.. if we wish  to do ToT on level  we have to at least take part of this higher commitment to raiding to stand a chance. 

Optizing wise i strongly recommend askmrrobot ..

Thalyia

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Re: Why I left Athanor, and World of Warcraft
« Reply #8 on: March 14, 2013, 10:19:47 AM »
Thx for this site, Richard. I checked all our raiders from the last 4 raids and the lowest were 94% optimized gear. I don't think that number is distressing, but I would like to ask every one to check his character on the site (askmrrobot) and keep their epics optimized.

The flasksituation was a bit on the edge lately for me too. It's not okay to get your flasks when its 19:45. I would like to see that everyone who gets a raidinvite at 19:45 has his flasks/potions/ backup food. I don't wanna hear a "/raid: Oh has anyone a flask for me, AH is sold out..." It's just common sense to prepare for the raid before the raid starts. Same goes for tactics. Watch a Heart of Fear tactics video. Even get a look at ToT too. And read the tactics in your dungeon journal or on our forum.

To get back on topic. It always saddeness me to see that a great member of OotA decides to leave. Most of the time they are getting married, having babies and can't find any time for WoW anymore. When a good friend decides to go because they are unhappy in WoW, it saddeness me even more. But i'm glad that they acknowledge their unhappiness and quit the bloody game. Cause this game is for fun and that's the easy part, you can log on and off when it pleases you.

I hope to see you log on again in the future, Kenny. Even if it's only for saying hi.



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Kayleefrye

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Re: Why I left Athanor, and World of Warcraft
« Reply #9 on: April 04, 2013, 03:47:29 PM »
I have no idea what's going on so I can't comment on the specifics, but...

This is a game. If it gets to you to the point were you get this frustrated, it's not a bad idea to step away. The people will always be there, and there is plenty of stuff to do out there :)

This, really. Sometimes, for whatever reason, things just don't work out. We're all mature enough to not hold grudges for that.